Why we need alone time
I started this piece at the beginning of the week when my momentum was still going strong...
I was feeling phenomenal from having alone time every day, but it got interrupted with a bad headache & some nausea for two days. Followed by a sick six-year-old who stayed home for two days. That's four days of being out of my routine.
Add a four-day weekend on top of that where hubby is NOT coming home but has to work.
You can just imagine my levels of frustration. I almost tore up this entry in my journal but realized something fascinating... I got reminded exactly how I feel when I don't have any alone time - and that's part of the point I'm trying to get across!
My husband works away and we see him only on weekends. When we arrived in Saudi, I couldn't fathom being alone, even for just a minute. I already felt so lonely!
I believe the girls were what kept me sane - even though the daily madness of caring for two littles was exhausting.
All I yearned for was to go for a run, but I got those in on the weekends with hubby home, so my cup was (sort of) full.
Four months. Four months of full time 'momming'. It was a HOT summer here in Saudi and I was alone with the girls every weekday. Looking back I can't blame my depressed days solely on not having 'me time', but I bet it played a BIG part.
Near the end of the summer, I had two times where one of my new friends watched the girls for two hours. The first time she offered, the second time I asked.
I could have asked or arranged for more alone time - but I wasn't comfortable with the idea yet. I wasn't comfortable with a lot of things. Everything takes some getting used to after relocating to a foreign country. Believe me!
For the last two weeks, I've had alone time from 1 - 3pm every weekday. Well dang! Who knew just how much this could actually mean to me...
I must admit, the first day when I got home - it was only an hour and a half, and I wanted to cry a little. When I walked into the house it was so QUIET! I missed my little baby (she is three years old and started school for the first time) and I was suddenly all alone. I cried when I had to leave her, but another mom reassured me: "It'll be good for the both of you". I didn't quite get it then, but I do now. They need the space, to grow and learn and socialize. And so do I.
Since then a new wave of emotions washes over me daily. I feel a new connection to the world - just because I'm not preoccupied with kids the whole darn time.
I get to figure out what 'being me' means again...
It's a chance to replenish myself, balance my spirits and move forward every day feeling more empowered. Although it's just two hours, it's more than enough for me.
From being super busy to a full-time mom, I'm not sure I could handle much more alone time now anyway.
My energy levels are high, my mental health is much more stable and I've got more patience with my kids.
That right there is something to write about.
I had this whole list of ideas for you on how to carve out some alone time for yourself. But was humbled again by not having some alone time myself for more than a week. Believe me, I get it - it's harder than you can imagine.
But if I felt so good that I wanted to write to you about it, it means I'm super serious about it and it was placed in my heart to share with someone.
A new mom suffering from postnatal depression. A newly single mom who is just rolling with the punches one after the other. A business owner suffering from already not having enough time in a day.
This applies to anybody. And if you're reading this and you get to have it, go and help that new mom. Offer to babysit for an hour, or even just 30 minutes. Run an errand for that blooming entrepreneur and tell them to go do something for themselves.
We NEED it.
You can't pour from an empty cup. You need to fill your own cup before you can give to your loved ones. Your child. Your spouse. Your job. Your family. Your friends.
Cancel unnecessary commitments. Prioritize. Schedule in some Me-Time in your diary.
Uninterrupted.
Go for a short walk. Dance it out. Get some sun. Go for a swim or hit the gym. Listen to a podcast. Write in your journal. Read a few pages from a book. It can be anything, but be intentional about it!
Just do something... For yourself, that fills your cup! Something that is good for your soul and benefits your well being. (Not scrolling on social media!)
At first, it'll feel uncomfortable. Just be patient. Integrating self-care into your routine takes some practice. But you'll undoubtedly reap major benefits from it. And once you start feeling better, don't stop! Keep the momentum going. Otherwise, you'll end up feeling empty and depleted. Again.
You might also feel guilty or selfish for taking some time for yourself. Please push through and know the benefits outweigh your guilt by a ton.
Take care of yourself first. So you can be of service to others.
xo Zelda
I was feeling phenomenal from having alone time every day, but it got interrupted with a bad headache & some nausea for two days. Followed by a sick six-year-old who stayed home for two days. That's four days of being out of my routine.
Add a four-day weekend on top of that where hubby is NOT coming home but has to work.
You can just imagine my levels of frustration. I almost tore up this entry in my journal but realized something fascinating... I got reminded exactly how I feel when I don't have any alone time - and that's part of the point I'm trying to get across!
My husband works away and we see him only on weekends. When we arrived in Saudi, I couldn't fathom being alone, even for just a minute. I already felt so lonely!
I believe the girls were what kept me sane - even though the daily madness of caring for two littles was exhausting.
All I yearned for was to go for a run, but I got those in on the weekends with hubby home, so my cup was (sort of) full.
Four months. Four months of full time 'momming'. It was a HOT summer here in Saudi and I was alone with the girls every weekday. Looking back I can't blame my depressed days solely on not having 'me time', but I bet it played a BIG part.
Near the end of the summer, I had two times where one of my new friends watched the girls for two hours. The first time she offered, the second time I asked.
I could have asked or arranged for more alone time - but I wasn't comfortable with the idea yet. I wasn't comfortable with a lot of things. Everything takes some getting used to after relocating to a foreign country. Believe me!
For the last two weeks, I've had alone time from 1 - 3pm every weekday. Well dang! Who knew just how much this could actually mean to me...
I must admit, the first day when I got home - it was only an hour and a half, and I wanted to cry a little. When I walked into the house it was so QUIET! I missed my little baby (she is three years old and started school for the first time) and I was suddenly all alone. I cried when I had to leave her, but another mom reassured me: "It'll be good for the both of you". I didn't quite get it then, but I do now. They need the space, to grow and learn and socialize. And so do I.
Since then a new wave of emotions washes over me daily. I feel a new connection to the world - just because I'm not preoccupied with kids the whole darn time.
I get to figure out what 'being me' means again...
It's a chance to replenish myself, balance my spirits and move forward every day feeling more empowered. Although it's just two hours, it's more than enough for me.
From being super busy to a full-time mom, I'm not sure I could handle much more alone time now anyway.
My energy levels are high, my mental health is much more stable and I've got more patience with my kids.
That right there is something to write about.
I had this whole list of ideas for you on how to carve out some alone time for yourself. But was humbled again by not having some alone time myself for more than a week. Believe me, I get it - it's harder than you can imagine.
But if I felt so good that I wanted to write to you about it, it means I'm super serious about it and it was placed in my heart to share with someone.
A new mom suffering from postnatal depression. A newly single mom who is just rolling with the punches one after the other. A business owner suffering from already not having enough time in a day.
This applies to anybody. And if you're reading this and you get to have it, go and help that new mom. Offer to babysit for an hour, or even just 30 minutes. Run an errand for that blooming entrepreneur and tell them to go do something for themselves.
We NEED it.
You can't pour from an empty cup. You need to fill your own cup before you can give to your loved ones. Your child. Your spouse. Your job. Your family. Your friends.
Cancel unnecessary commitments. Prioritize. Schedule in some Me-Time in your diary.
Uninterrupted.
Go for a short walk. Dance it out. Get some sun. Go for a swim or hit the gym. Listen to a podcast. Write in your journal. Read a few pages from a book. It can be anything, but be intentional about it!
Just do something... For yourself, that fills your cup! Something that is good for your soul and benefits your well being. (Not scrolling on social media!)
At first, it'll feel uncomfortable. Just be patient. Integrating self-care into your routine takes some practice. But you'll undoubtedly reap major benefits from it. And once you start feeling better, don't stop! Keep the momentum going. Otherwise, you'll end up feeling empty and depleted. Again.
You might also feel guilty or selfish for taking some time for yourself. Please push through and know the benefits outweigh your guilt by a ton.
Take care of yourself first. So you can be of service to others.
xo Zelda
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