Realness

9 Months Post-Partum...

post-partum

ˈpɑːtəm/

adjective: post-partum; adjective: postpartum

1. following childbirth or the birth of young.

   
   

   "the custom of post-partum abstinence"
2. 
   

I woke up with a heavy heart this morning. I wasn't sure exactly why.  Normally when I work late (which I did) I'm a little 'out of it' the next day.  So my initial thought was that. 

But it wasn't.  I grabbed Francisca (my awesome assistant) and said "let's go have coffee".  Little did I know that talking about it made me find the root of my depressed morning.

It's been a crazy couple of weeks at my house.  My baby Leila cut three teeth the last two weeks, so it's been a shit-storm for a little over fourteen days.

Just as things started looking up with that whole "situation", Jayda, my three year old had a fever of 39.6 degrees earlier this week.  The next morning she started pooping her pants.  

- Great.

I thought we're going to the hospital for sure.  Luckily it was just secondary symptoms of a cold she developed a few days prior. Nothing major.  Meds started working pretty quickly and no more fevers.

And no more pooping.  - Yay!

Last week I had a clogged something in my eye which was swollen & didn't look so great.  I couldn't work for two days & had to get antibiotics.

A few days ago I lent my baby-wrap to a friend who's just had a baby. She said something that (I think) triggered this whole roller coaster of emotions.  "Society makes everything look so perfect, and when you're struggling or not coping you're too ashamed to say anything because it feels like you're failing."

I agree. Our first three months with Jayda was a nightmare (for the most part) and I was borderline depressed.  Baby blues, whatever you want to call it. We had a tough time with her!  But it got better and you forget all about it.

Not everyone tells you how bad it can be.  And I didn't really say anything, because I thought exactly the same.  

This morning as I was talking about it, I felt guilty.  It felt like I'm a big part of this "society" that makes everything look so perfect.  I only post the best pictures - where everything's all rainbows and unicorns.  Children smiling, looking happy... Not mentioning the army it took to get anybody looking decent.

So I decided to take a few snaps of our REAL day today... to show that it's not always so perfect.

Jayda had a meltdown this afternoon because I told her I'm going to pack a few extra things for her in case she had an 'accident' while going to town with my husband.

She "didn't want to"...

Leila has a tendency to slap the spoon full of food out of my hand and onto me when she's done eating...

My living room looks like a circus with all the toys lying around.  And what does Leila choose to play with?  Jayda's shoes lying next to her.

I had to bribe Jayda to take a bath by throwing in bubble bath... 

- Pick your battles they say...

She forgot I took away her bath toys last night because she shouted at me and only realized it once she was in the bath...

All's well that ends well though.  These smiles make it all worth while.

Look, being a parent is hard.  The reality is, it's not always pretty pictures and rainbows or unicorns.  And that's OKAY. 

I take pictures of happy moments, because that makes my heart happy. And those are the moments I want to remember.

To top it all off, I got a very meaningful message on Facebook from one of my friends.  Out of the blue!  

It said:

"There are people in your life whom you unknowingly inspire simply by being you."

Just be you.  Be real.

xo

Zelda