Embracing Oldness
The last couple of months even years, I've been... I don't know how to put it. Uhm... Losing confidence? Low self esteem maybe? I don't know. I feel 'ugly'. I can see my wrinkles more prominently, my eyes are too close together and my nose is huge.
I am turning 30 in a year. That hasn't bothered me too much though. I'm still okay there. "Fake it till you make it" has been a motto in my life lately.
...i know...
I've never had a confidence problem. I used to be outgoing and comfortable in most situations. I was an amazing sales lady. The world was mine if I wanted it. I exuded confidence. The way I walked, smiled and spoke.
I'm a mom to a two year old, and that has a lòt to do with it. I think. This morning I realized something. I read a quote by Sean Bates:
"She's got a heavy heart, a messy soul, a reckless mind, and I think it's beautiful the way she carries herself."
"She's got a heavy heart, a messy soul, a reckless mind, and I think it's beautiful the way she carries herself."
The last week actually has been sort of a revelation in itself. I àm getting older. Yes. But it's not a bad thing. I'm maturing in a pretty awesome way. I made a new friend recently who is about three years younger than me. Also a lot younger in spirit. Single. Fun. Funny. Honest. True. Dynamic. Courageous. Outgoing. Loud. Talkative. Loving And heartwarming to say the least. Many of the things I used to be...
Spending time with her has made me realize I'm much wiser than I ever thought. (Although she sometimes calls me something like granny-pants...) I can give advice easily. I'd think to myself 'Wow that sounded pretty rad'. I'm actually good at this. And it makes me feel good too. This must be 'the momma in me'. I feel soulful. When I feel something now I feel it much deeper than before. I appreciate good company much more and find myself seeking out insightful inspiring people to surround me with.
I've got a lot to be thankful for,and sometimes lose sight of that. I'm healthy, fit, I've got the best husband and a beautiful daughter who let's me see the world through her eyes everyday. I'm embracing my oldness. 'This is not the end of me this is the beginning...'
Cue Christina Perri's "I Believe" :)
Cue Christina Perri's "I Believe" :)
Hey love your posts. inspiring and real. something to relate to and enjoy to read.
ReplyDeleteI also started blogging a while back to capture my American au pair stories and from there couldn't stop. its like a story book of your life that one day your family or kids gets to look back on, where someone who is having it worse, or think they have it bad can read and feel better and inspired.
keep it up cant wait to read more :-)
if you want to read my blog please feel free to go have a look
http://developingmyselfonecapturedmoment.blogspot.com/
Hi Elena
ReplyDeleteEk sien nou eers jou comment. Baie dankie vir dit! Ek skryf so een keer in paar maande. Ek gaan verseker loer na jou skryfwerk!
xxx